2.12 am. Sex, the escape I desperately seek: How do I get the fidgeting to stop? How do I turn off my fucking brain? Why is it, that only when someone is hitting my head against something really hard, that the voices still? Why does it take a hand obstructing …
Book Two, Chapter Four — The Doorway
October 11th, 2018. I went to work full of energy and exhausted all the same. It was a cold, long night-shoot but I powered through. On my way home at 6am, I texted Mystery Man. “I’m just getting home now. So tired, but can’t sleep. Don’t know what to do …
Book Two, Chapter Three – The Window
Phew… I’m going to write this like I just launched myself on the couch and we’re on a video call to catch you up on the last… year. “How have you been babe? What’s new? What’s happening?” I ask you trying to avoid talking about me first. I’m so sick …
Book Two, Chapter Two – Change is Hard
“I have to be mindful of the intention I’m gonna set for myself this year, it might just come true.” January, 2018 Those are the words that ended my last post, the sad, whiney and impatient rant from six months ago. Remember the one where I blamed the world for …
Christine In Twenty Eighteen
On becoming Christine. It has been an interesting time, coming into 2018. Just Bad Timing is becoming a physical thing in less than a month and I think I’m going to have postpartum after it does. As you might know, Christine is my pen name. Except that some people now …
Book Two, Chapter One – A Romance For the Wild Ones
He undressed me as the wolves looked on from the distance. It all seemed too unreal. I was feeling numb for days until his tongue hit me like the sun hits your eyes on a summer morning through the mist, unexpected and unforeseen. So many unsuspected eyes might have been …
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Chapter Twenty One – The Big Bold Move
The decision fell, almost exactly a year later. The plan is set in motion and we are doing it. We are really doing it. I cannot believe it is actually happening and will probably wait for something to screw it up before we are on the plane. Yet, here we …
Hiatus
Sometimes life eats up all of your creativity.. It soaks it dry. I am working on giving you the best of me. The truest of me. I promise I will do better. In the meantime, she is making me remember Christine. So while I say see you later, you can …
Chapter Twenty – Autumn
I was sitting across from him at dinner. We had not spoken a word in the last 30 minutes. He was on his phone, looking up cars that he could never buy. I was twirling my fingers, looking out of the window onto the street. It was a quiet night. …
Chapter Nineteen – The Roaring Twenties
The blank page, a writer’s worst enemy, today stares at me impeccably mirroring the state of my life. “So what’s new?” “Nothing, I hate my job, my life is bleak and I want to run away…” I have been hearing myself repeating this over and over for the past 6 …
just bad timing 